Faith's Brithday Party

Yesterday evening was Faith's birthday party, it went off without a hitch, I think. It was a lot of fun for both of the girls. It was a little stressful for me, I know if Joel had been there, it would not have been so stressful, but he would have had a blast. I found myself thinking that many times, he would have been playing, talking with the kids, just plain tickled to see how much fun the two girls were having with all of their friends and having our first "big girl" party. There was nothing he loved more than seeing his babes having fun and being happy. He loved to be the one to bring the happiness to them too, with whatever little thing he could do to make them smile or giggle. At one point I found myself getting quite teary, watching the girls, seeing some of the parent's interacting with the kids, I missed him a lot then. At one point, Brenna came up to me and asked to see papa, I was a little baffled at first, but then I remember my locket with Joel's picture in it(Joel's brother and sister-in-law gave it to me a few weeks ago and the girls love looking at papa's picture and giving him a kiss). So I picked her up, she opened up my locket, looked at the picture and said, I miss you papa, I love you. I just smiled, fighting back the tears, and she gave him a big kiss and then took the locket and put it up to my face, making a kissing noise and telling me it was a kiss from papa. I could not hold back the tears then, it was next to impossible and it just made me miss him more. I know it was my little girls way of comforting me and seeing that mama needed a kiss and hug right then, but still......

All in all, it was a good day and the girls all enjoyed themselves. We will make it, even on these days when I wish he was here to help me, support me, and enjoy these life moments that make a child's day.