Trip

Well, we are all getting ready to take a trip back home to see all of the family. I am a little anxious about all of it. We have not been home since March and some of that was a little strained at a times, but it was still good. I am looking forward to it, but still a little anxious. It is hard for me to be around all of Joel's family and the nieces and nephews and watch the girls playing with them. That was Joel's favorite part of our trips home, he loved seeing the girls with their cousins and it is just heart wrenching knowing that he is not their enjoying this with me. I do not know if his family sees that and knows how difficult it is for me to see all of this. I have come to terms with his death, but I have not yet come to terms with the fact that I will be on my own now and he will not be with me on these trips to visit family. I am not sure if I ever will come to terms with it. My therapist ensures me that I will, but.....how does he know if I don't even know!? Oh well. I know this will be fine and the trip will be the break we all need before we start this new school year. Faith starts kindergarten on August 10th and Bren will start in the pre-k room at her daycare. It is all new and exciting, but hard at the same time. I know Joel would have loved walking his little girl to kindergarten and have been so proud and sad at the same time knowing she is getting so big. I am planning on volunteering my nursing skills to the school and also being involved in Faith's classroom. I am looking forward to that and I think it will keep us all very busy. Faith is excited about school and constantly asking me if Papa is proud of her and how big she is getting. I ensure her that he is and that he with her ev3eryday and guiding her. This makes her smile and laugh. Well, I need to get packing and get ready for our trip. We are taking Maggie, our cocker spaniel, so this will only add to the "fun" of traveling with two kids. The girls are excited to show her off to all of the family though.