Better than I thought

Today turned out better than I thought it would. I am not sure why or how, but it did. I cried a bit today, missed Joel a lot, but for the most part I got through it. I am not myself right now and I know this is ok, but I just don't like it, at all. I am ready for the girl I know and love to come back but I don't know if that will be possible. I know tomorrow will be another day that will taunt me all day, but I think I will get through it. The next day would have been Joel's birthday and I am a little unsure of what or how to do this day, but I purposely scheduled my counseling for this day to help me through it. I am hoping it helps me get through the end of the day. It should. I just put the girls into bed and they both look so much like Joel, all I could think was.......they are spitting images of us both and I am so greatful to have these "images" of him daily. It is hard, but it is a great reward. I know I will get through the next two days, I just have to remain strong. That is all there is to do.