New Home

Well, I did it. I purchassed our new home today. I am happy about it, but at the same time I am still wondering if this was the right thing to do. I feel in my heart that it is....but it was so hard to close on the house today. I was numb....hurting that Joel was not there. Hurting that I am purchasing a new home that my husband will not live with us in. I pray that this was the right move and I know that soon I will know the answer to that. Then while I am going through the closing procedures, I am told that there is a serious offer that will be coming in today. So this evening I spent two hours deciding which of the two offers to counter on our home....the home we shared with Joel...the home we were going to try and sell on our own without a realtor. I was numb again, unsure of what to do, which way to counter, which way to go. I think I am still numb. I think I am still unsure but am just following my heart and that of my realtors knowing that I would do the best thing for my girls and myself. I know that I made the best decision and I know I made the best offer for the girls and I. I know that I did everything that I could for us. I know I did what Joel would want me to do and he would be proud...it would just help if I had his approval, if I had his verbal ok, if he were here with me to do this. But this is not the path I was given, this is no longer our plans....it is now about what I can do to survive, what I can do to keep going and do the best thing for my girls. Emotionally this is the best thing for all of us. I just wish I knew what he thought. I know this to will work out and I know that this is a great thing for the new couple buying this home. I was told that they are a young couple, with a new baby and are very excited about living in our home, having this as theirs. I am happy for them and I pray that this home brings them as much happiness as it did for us. I pray that this will all work out.