We love you Nana

On Tuesday morning, Joel's grandmother, Nana passed away. Nana was a strong and determined person who entered this world with huge obstacles to face and overcame all of them. She raised a wonderful son who has great values and strong family ties and beleifs. Nana was proud of each and everyone of her grandchildren and would give anyone an earful about her great family if they would listen. Nana will be missed, but thankfully, as my father-in-law said, "she did not suffer, she was not in pain and now she is in a better place and with her loved ones who have already passed." She did have a long life and did get to see more than so many people. At birth Nana's mother was told she would not live to be two, because of some health problems and look at how wrong she proved those doctors, she had a wonderful life and got over 75 more years than they said she would. I really wanted to go to the funeral, for Nana and for Joel's parents. I just wanted to be there. As I sat down to purchase the tickets, I could not do it, I could not push that last little button to confirm the tickets. The thought of going to another funeral caused so much anxiety, all I could do was sit there and cry and feel as though my chest was going to cave in. I feel as though I should have just made someone else push that button and just go, but.... I could not do that either. I know all of the family understands and can relate to me, but I should have made myself do it. So many people have told me it took them a long time to finally get up the courage to go to one after a traumatic loss. My mom told me the first one was the worst and hardest for her, I just could not get up the courage to do it. I know everyone understands and I will be with them in spirit and will be praying my little heart out during the time of the funeral. So to Nana, we love you and we will miss you. We are so proud of all you accomplished in your life and how far you came and all that you endured. You are a strong and dedicated person. We are proud of you. I am glad that you are with Joel and will be with him to watch over the girls and I and all of our family. God Bless you Nana.