Better Spirits

Well, I am guess you could say I am a little better spirits than last night and the day before. Faith had her first school christmas program and it was so cool! I love how they integrated all of the kids, even the little ones into it and she just loved it. She almost fell off of the stage because she was twirling her dress, but it was funny. She just cracks me up and I know Joel was laughing his butt off because he probably had a better seat than I did! I made it through this program with out crying. Something I did not expect to happen. I was expecting to have a crying fit and loose it, but I made it!!! I guess today I have accepted that I am doing ok this Christmas and time does not stop. I cannot change the holiday and I cannot take it away from my girls. All I can do is acknowledge my pain, accept the pain, look forward, move through it and keep going. I have known this, but I guess, like most human beings at this time of year, I forget those "normal" things and focus on all of the hub-bub and activities that this season brings to us. Before you know it, you are deep in pain and not sure where or how to get out of it. It is ok. I have wonderful friends to share this holiday season with. A friends new baby to spoil(good to have baby therapy every once in a while) and snuggle with while everyone else is busy with the "toys". Two beautiful girls who are going to be delighted when Santa comes. It will be decent year, that I am sure!