Monday, August 07, 2006
Nine months....
Yesterday was the nine month mark since Joel died. I can hardly beleive that nine months has passed but at the same time I can hardly beleive that only nine months have gone by.
In three months time it will be one year.....gosh I get so anxious when I think of that......
Yesterday was good for the most part. The girls and I had a decent day, but it was still hard too....I just kept remembering the horrible night that changed our lives forever.....the notifying officer and chaplain knocking on my door...seeing them and instantly knowing why they were there.....hurting so much that I could not feel a damn thing....trying to figure out how to tell my girls.....all those damn feelings kept coming back yesterday....it was so overwhelming but also a reminder of how far I have come and how much Joel has given me and continues to give me through my girls. I know I will get through this, there is no other choice for me to get throguh this.
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Mary,
I just wish I could give you a big hug. I don't know what your going through.But you have helped me to understand what my Mother must have went through. You see my Father was a pilot in WW2 he was killed 2 day before my second Birthday. I never got to know him. After his death Mom stopped talking about him. I have pictures,but no memories of anyone talking about him. I have never really known who I am,do I do things like him,did he like this or that.May sound silly ,but I would like to know these things. I know it's hard for you,but so important for the girls. I'm 63 yrs old and more than anything would love to hear stories about my Dad. I never have and I never will. My Mom is gone now and most of his family are also. I guess back in 1945 that's the way you handled things. So I'm very proud of you for never letting your girls forget who their Father was and how very much he loved them. I'm sorry for going on like this,but I think your a very Special person.
Love and God bless
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