Wal-mart

Today Faith and I are having some alone time before she starts school. We were running all over Columbus looking for Classic Colored Washable Markers, not a darn store had them! It is pretty crazy, so tomorrow back on the hunt for two more boxes. Anyways...as we were in Wal-Mart(my least favorite store) we were waiting in line to check out, I looking around, Faith is playing and I see the newspaper. There was an article on the front page about another Benning soldier who was killed in Iraq. I picked it up and read it , I don't know why, I still cannot manage to read about or listen to anything regarding Iraq and soldiers dying...I finished the article and realized I was crying a little. An older man behind me walked up and read the paper, looked at me, my KIA bracelet I still wear and had a sad teary look on his face. I just gave a half smile and turned around to finish up paying for our stuff. I feel like I should have said something but I knew I could not. I still get short of breath and anxious when someone asks me what my bracelets mean and who the man is that is engraved on my two bracelets. One is Joel's friend who died 8 years ago and the bracelet he wore and one is Joel's. I still don't know if I am reacting the right way to strangers comments, I still don't know how I should be acting or feeling at times...I still get so damn confused. I pray for the day that clarity comes again, if it will.