Moments

I am getting better, moment by moment. I have my days and I certainly have my moments. The last few days I have had so many different moments. Times where I get a lot done, times where I find myself just fiddeling around on the computer, putting off everything. The good moments are when I have some memories that I have long forgotten about, or put out of my mind. One memory was a good one that I think I pushed out for some reason or another. It was almost three years ago and I had just gotten my orders to PCS from Ft. Stewart to Ft. Benning so that Joel and I could live as a family. He had PCS'd here for a course and found out he would be assigned to 3ID. I had gotten my orders, done most of my out processing and was at home, bored, missing Joel and wanting to just be with him. I had two days before I needed to be back to do some more out processing so I packed up the girls bag's, a few other things and hopped in the car at about 6pm. It is a four hour drive from Savannah to Columbus. I called Joel and asked him what he was doing, did not tell him that we were on our way up there. He was at a book store studying and I asked him where it was at and he was trying to figure out why I needed to know. So, he was giving me directions without knowing it and then he said, "what are you doing? It sounds like caos and why are the girls up?" I said, "well, I am sitting in a parking lot at a bookstore and cleaning up baby throw up." He just laughed and said, you are here? I said yep, come on out. Are you ready to go to your apartment? He was so happy and so surprised. I am so glad that I drove up there, we were all missing eachother. I am glad to have that memory now. I just wish I had done more surprises like that for him. He surprised me once too. He was coming home from Ft. Leavenworth and he called at about 11pm and said, I have about 3 hours left to get home so don't stay awake for me. So I was a little disappointed, I was anxious to see him. So I took a shower to help me go to sleep and as I was getting out of the shower, I looked up and he was standing in the doorway watching me. I was so surprised and so happy. He loved to suprise us and especially in a shocking way. I am so greatful to have those memories. I just desperatly wish we were making more of them. I just wish he was able to teach the girls more of his ways. I miss him so much, my best friend, my love.