Dora: Part 2

Well Dora went of without a hitch. They had a blast and the girls did so well. It was hard though, I found myself missing Joel so much, imagining what he would have said, how he would have acted with the girls, knowing that he would have loved this. Brenna was sitting on my friend B's lap(we went with H and B and their kids) and she snuggled in, got cozy and would dance and sing in his lap. That was so hard to watch, knowing that if Joel were here, she would not be doing that, needing that attention, she would be cozied up on her papa's lap.....laughing and not knowing any of this pain she has already experienced in her short three years of life. Watching and thinking at the same time, I am greatful for the friends that I have, the ones that knew Joel and will help me teach these two about him, however.....I wish he were here, especially for these times. Faith, my little Faith who thinks to much for her own good. She was sitting in a seat by herself, watching and laughing, but at the same time, I could see sadness on her face. My heart hurt so bad, I knew why she was sad. She remembers going to the Circus with her Papa, sitting on his lap, she remembers going to a few other events where they would laugh, play and pretend to be a part of the show. I know that had to be going through her mind a little. Finally she came and sat on my lap and just snuggled in, one she was getting a little tired, but two, she just wanted to be held. How I wish he was there with us.