Faith and I just got done making a poster for school. She has her show and tell week next week and they have to do a "story" board of their life. I let her pick out her photo's and of course many of them have photo's of papa in them. As we were deciding what to write on them, she would ask me when the photo't were taken and then decide what to write. On one of them, it was a picture of her with Joel and I, I was still pregnant with Brenna. So she said, "mama, I want it to say, My name is Faith, this is papa when he was still alive". It broke my heart and I tried so hard not to cry. I almost did not write it, but I know this is what she wanted and she would be angry if I told her she could not have that on there, I also don't want her thinking that she cannot tell other people about her papa. I never realized how simple some of this would be for her, it is just pure fact and for me, it is almost pure emotion, I know what the facts are, but the emotions outway that. I guess it makes me realize that sometimes the way kids look at life is the way I need to look at it. I need to try and look at some of these pictures the way my little girls do. It is just hard because I know what they are missing, I know what they will not have in these next years to come. Damn it, I never thought I would be doing this.