The girls

Tonight the girls and I read a book that a friend sent us, it is called "I miss You". Faith picked it out, and I was surprised, because this is the same book that many times she has asked me to stop reading. Tonight though, it was much different and it was proof to me of how far she has come in these last four months. As we were reading this book, there are parts, that have you ask the child what they think about loosing a loved one, how it makes them feel, and if they know how their loved one died. I asked the girls these questions, at first neither one of them said anything. Then Faith piped in and said, "papa died mama and it makes me feel bad". I asked her what she meant by bad, so she said it made her feel sad and miss him. Bren said, "it makes me want to kiss him more mama". Do you know how hard it is to read a story, and not try to cry so your kids don't think it makes you upset? It is nearly impossible, but I did it. We kept reading and then when I asked the girls if they knew why papa died, Faith immediately said, "the bad men in Iraq hurt papa and he went to heaven mama". I said, I know honey, but those men made a "bomb" and that is what hurt papa so much that his body could not work anymore. She said, I know. Bren then said, "mama, there was a big boom and papa went to heaven and is our angel". Thank God the story was over. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that this was all good stuff and it was another reinforced that the girls are coming along, that I am doing the right things for the girls. What ever I am doing, and I am not completely sure what that is but being myself, it is the right thing and that was a powerful moment for me. I know I could not do this without the love and support of family and friends, so I am so thankful for all that is happening right now. Where we are at this early point and hopefully how far we can go. I am not fooling myself though, I know we will still have some hard days coming up, but we will get through those, just like the ones we have already gotten through.