The Weekend

Well the girls and I survived this long weekend since Wednesday. It was a whirlwind, but I think the speed of this weekend is what got me through it, among other things and people. Wednesday went very well, better than I anticipated it would go. I was very nervous that Faith, even though she understands that Papa is in heaven and we won't see him until we go to heaven(in her words), I was fearful that she would ask me where her present was. Last year, Joel wanted to get her a computer, she loves computers, and so he searched and searched and found the "perfect one, a Barbie computer". So, he tried to order it, but it was on back order, so I picked it up, took it to the Mailbox store I went to frequently, and they boxed it up and we gave it to Faith like she got a package from her papa, she was so excited and proud that Papa did it just for her. I was worried she would expect the same thing this year and it broke my heart to think of explaining it to her. We talked about Papa that day, but it was that we missed him and that was it. My fears of all the memories of five years ago, were not what I expected, I remembered a lot about that day, but they brought me much solace and some joy to rethink and relive some of those memories. Friday was the memorial service at Creighton University, ROTC Department, where Joel and I met, then a year later fell in love and married. That was difficult, I walked into that building and so many memories came flooding back, but I was so busy with everyone, that I could not pay them much attention at the time, but as soon as we sat to start the dedication, my mind raced, I remembered so many things, especially a day where I burst into the room (the same room the dedication was in, with the podium in the same place where Joel was standing then), Joel was giving a block of instruction and I said, "Hey!!......., oops". Joel looked at me like I was crazy, but he had that twinkle in his eye and the smile I loved and everyone laughed. They were all good memories, but it was still hard, however, I am so greatful that I was there, experienced them and had the support and love of a faculty that wanted to honor one of their "own". The support extended past the faculty of CU ROTC, it went to many friends, siblings of friends, faculty from the school of nursing, and many other people whom I was honored to have there in honor of my husband. It was difficult to see so many who knew me then, and to know that they were there for me, my girls and mostly my husband. The support of so many friends, whom I had the opportunity to talk with, cry, and laugh with was undoubtedly the biggest support of the whole weekend, I am so greatful that they were there for me. However, it was a good day, a blessed day and it ended with a good birthday party that I know my husband would have loved to have been there for, swimming with his girls, his nieces and nephews, laughing with us. I know he was with us in spirit though, laughing out loud with that smile on his face, that twinkle in his eye and proud of his girls, all three of us.